Supermarkets are like the zoo. Normally frequented by the species Homo sapiens-sapiens but the environment of this place has such an effect on the DNA make-up of the species that once inside they show mutative changes and can be further sub-divided into sub-species. Listed below are some of those species that I’ve discovered so far.
- Homo sapiens perfecticus- this species will spend an agonizing amount of time to select the perfect piece of fruit or vegetable going to the extent of even examining every grape in a bunch. These people would willingly carry a microscope or an X-ray machine into the market if allowed.
- Homo sapiens oblitricus- this species will cover the entire shelf with their bodies thus preventing its access to other people.
- Homo sapiens hurricanus- need I explain that one?
- Homo sapiens athleticus- this species shows high athletic abilities, running between the aisles, picking things up at high speed while on the move, balancing too many things in their hands and even managing a juggle show at times.
- Homo sapiens crankerus- this species is always irritated, snapping at the attendants or the cashier. Also at other shoppers if anyone dares to step into their personal space even a tiny bit. It shows an expertise in creating a scene and drawing attention to oneself.
- Homo sapiens familicus- this species comprises of an entire family. The main characteristic of this one is at least one of the children throwing a massive tantrum on the floor for a chocolate/ice-cream/ride in the cart.
- Homo sapiens husbandsilenticus- this one comes in a pair. The husband part of the species always asks the wife’s permission before putting anything in the cart.
- Homo sapiens cofusicus- this species(also sometimes in a pair) is always confused about the piece of fruit or vegetable to pick and will constantly seek advice from fellow shoppers. These are usually newly-weds who have only just started shopping groceries.
- Homo sapiens Ps&Qsperous- this is a rare species, in fact endangered. The people of this species display the qualities of politeness and patience and general well-behavedness.
- Homo sapiens husbandbillus- I happen to belong to this species. This one also comes in a pair. The wife part does all the grocery picking and cart filling, usually hurrying from shelf to shelf while the husband part waits at the check-out counter to pay the bill.
I heartily apologize if I have missed any but my quest for further discoveries will go on and any further discoveries will be duly reported. Meanwhile feel free to add your own discoveries to the above list.